Gaijin Traps. Doh!

I am a good driver in Japan.

I have learned how to drive on the left. I've gotten used to turning on the wipers where the blinkers are supposed to be, and the blinkers where the wipers are supposed to be. I even like the beeping sound my little car makes when I put it in reverse.

I am a good driver. I am a good driver. I am a good driver.

So how did my car end up in a ditch this evening?

My little piece of the Japanese inaka has a lot of rice paddies. And those rice paddies need a lot of water. So, the Japanese have built deep cement irrigation ditches that run along side most roads. On major streets, these ditches are covered with nifty metal plates. But on residential roads, like the ones near my apartment, they're wide open. Because Japanese tend to hug the center line when they drive, these ditches aren't a problem. But for Westerners, who have been taught to stay away from the middle of the road, they're trickier. That's why we JETs have lovingly dubbed them "Gaijin Traps" (Foreigner Traps).

And tonight, I met a Gaijin Trap first-hand.

I was on my way to "play tennis with Mr. Nagata" (read: get my a$$ handed to me by a 75-year-old man) and his tennis club when I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. The club charges 200 yen (2 bucks) to help offset the cost of the court rental, so I'd need to pay up. I was just a few blocks from my apartment, so I thought I'd turn around, but there was a car right behind me. So I drove ahead, pulled into a neighbor's driveway, and attempted to back up.

That's where it all went wrong.

Yup, I backed right into the Gaijin Trap. Both of my back wheels got stuck in the ditch. I put the car into drive and attempted to pull out, but no luck. I got out of the car and attempted to straddle the ditch and push, but no luck. I turned off the radio (that's what you're supposed to do in these kinds of situations, right?) and sat in the driver seat, trying to figure out what to do.

I was trapped. I was embarrassed. And my car was completely blocking the narrow street.

So I called The Best Neighbors on the Planet, two fellow JETs who have lived in Fukui for a year, and told them that I was stuck in a ditch. Before I could even continue, the neighbor I was speaking to put the phone down to yell to the other, "Sara's Gaijin Trapped!" I heard some muffled laughter. Then he picked the phone back up and told me they'd be over, with a third friend, to help me out.

I'm sure there was more laughter after we hung up. And I probably deserved it. But in my defense, the inaka is really, really dark, and those ditches are really, really sneaky.

So The Best Neighbors on the Planet helped me lift my car out of the ditch. It only took three of us (it's a really small car), plus one to give it some gas. They didn't even laugh at me to my face.

The Suzuki escaped the Trap with only mild scratches. And I was only a few minutes late to lose my tennis match with Mr. Nagata. All in all, not a bad evening.